Your doing awesome losingitslowly happy to see you reached 11 days.
Some things in life we just can’t control like my water tank failing. Everything has a shelf life and then we fix it or replace it the good ol circle of life lol. I was stressed because I wanted to not depend on anyone but myself. But sometimes being to self reliant can make me feel isolated to. I’ve learned to let go these days and see where the creator takes me. I was ment to get out of my trailer and spend time with my ex so we could let our resentments go. It also allowed my aunt to push her tenant to get out of the cabin im moving into he was supposed to be out a month ago. So now I can be in probably by this weekend. Im really excited to have my own space its on the ocean its insanely beautiful away from the city. It’s all farmland and animals around so it’s perfect for my dog.
I talked to me ex alot last night about my gambling problem as he mentioned alot of people tell him how the hell could I have done what I did and wasted all that money. I told him not one of my friends or family have judged me they new I was sick and in alot of pain and made a mistake. I said anyone that wants to sit and judge me for what is or is not in my bank account doesn’t give to shits about me as a person and can shove there materialistic mentality up there ass lol. I’ve always gave someone who’s trying to better themselves the benefit of the doubt and try to see what’s behind the behavior. I can take full responsibility for the hurt that it caused my ex but anyone else sitting there turning there head up at me for making a bad life decision with my own money doesn’t deserve to be in my life. To me it’s just toxic judgment and maybe it comes from a place of feeling sorry for my ex which I can also see but I can’t sit in shame for the rest of my life I have to move on. That’s the hardest part is learning to not give a shit what others think of me and just no im doing the best I can to not make the same mistakes again.