Hey ujju197 thanks for feeling like you could get through all my words on here. I no I have alot to say lol. My sponsor kind of mentioned the same thing about what you said with treating them seperate. She was saying she doesn’t no to many gamblers in our other programs but has met the odd few. It’s definitely not talked about at all in those meetings. I accidently was in a GA meeting about 5 years ago. I remeber sitting there wondering how I accidently went to the wrong meeting. I didn’t leave though as I new that an addict is an addict so any words in that meeting could have impact. The stories weren’t entirely different other than I noticed the suicidal tendencies were talked about more intensly. The same pain and turmoil is all the same though. But they are entirely different yes in that fact that were technically more concious when gambling. I could argue that a bit though because I don’t remember the majority of the time I was gambling I was literally zoned the hell out on it. I was completely dissociated everytime. The mornings were the worst because I’d wake up not remembering what I had spent the night before. I had very brief memory of what or how much I played. I first thought I had DID( split personalities) or something because I couldn’t fathom how I could do all that damage. I was always really good with money up till the gambling problem start. I was eventually diagnosed with complex ptsd with dissociation but not with different personalities. So I was completely leaving my concious mind when gambling I guess maybe I precieved it as another trauma I dont no. Realistically it is we no its wrong, doing damage, causing harm to ourselves. I can still hear my inner voice screaming at myself to stop as I played. I even have an inner sense a humor because I’d start singing im a gambling man (but I change it to women) song inside my head as I was playing. How fucked up is that lol. Being bat shit crazy is so much fun I tell ya.
