Thank you so much for all your replies. To be clear, he is my ex husband, we are no longer together. And none of this is about hoping for a second chance in our marriage. Our marriage is over, he has a girlfriend, we live separate lives and have been for the last two years. I’ve always prided ourselves on the fact that we have a good relationship and that our family unit still works well. We share care of the kids 50/50, we co-parent well together. He has come to me for the loan as a friend. He knows I have the money as we sold our house together back in April.
As it stands now, he’s being really hostile towards me. I guess because I questioned whether drugs were involved in the over-spend over the last 9 months. He says drugs are not a problem for him. I’m now reluctant to lend the money for all the reasons you’ve all said above. I’m scared. He won’t let me get involved in his recovery now – I think he thought I’d straight away lend him the money but it’s been a week since he asked and I still haven’t paid it to him which I believe is making him angry. I feel like I can’t help him. We broke up for a number of reasons, and I played my own part in the breakdown of our marriage, but one thing I did think when we eventually separated was: at least he is not my problem anymore. At least he can’t hurt me (and vice versa) anymore. And yet here we are.