Hi carriegroner and sierra2222 welcome to this site. I’m finding its really helping me get all the shit out of my head and allowing me to just start processing why I became a gambling addict.
I had a bad session with my therapist the other day it brought up some of my worst traumas visually and I cried so hard on my way home. Not having my husband around to comfort me through the pain was even worse. I had to actually sit in it by myself and really feel it. I ended up getting out with a good friend yesterday so I was able to have someone to physically communicate everything to which was good. Being alone trying to heal is super tough but I believe is nessicary. When your in a relationship and healing your emotions are all over. The other person tends to get the repercussions of your healing. You might have angry days or days you don’t stop crying and I don’t think anyone wants to me around that shit. When I first got into NA and AA it was recommended to be single for a year for this exact reason. Not everyone is single coming into recovery but I no alot of people that seperate for awhile like how me and my husband just did. We both have so much work to do on ourselves. The more I talked things out with my friend the more I started to see how bad our relationship was. Shes my hubbys bfs wife so she knows us both well. My gambling got the worst when I sold my grandmas house last August. We had to move into an rv together because we couldn’t find a house or rental and living in small quarters just ruined us more. It just made our already shoved down problems escalate. I’ve been starting to have fear about money though. Even though I have a bit I’m used to splitting fincial stuff like bills,groceries ect with my husband so now I’m scared on how I’m going to make it alone. My course is done this week so I go back to work the following Monday. With my high interest rate debt I’m going to be sucked dry of money really fast so I’m definitely going to have to look into debt relief programs. I’ve never had to do it before and I hate that to survive I’m going to need to but it’s another repercussion of the mess I made.