lj50
Hello,
I am a recovering compulsive gambler, I’m on Day 53 Gamble Free.
As I read your comments, I cry because I can’t imagine what my husband must have been thinking and going through when I was gambling every dime I could put my hands on.
The moderator is so correct, I would have never thought I would end up in this position. I didn’t have any habits, never smoked, drinked, no drugs, I considered myself a pretty “boring” person. If I had any idea that taking that first step in that internet cafe would lead me down the darkest road I have ever been on, I would not have went in. I should have known something was wrong when I had to lie about where I was going, and I could hear everyone around me lying to someone about where they were at.
Trust me, your husband has shed many tears over his addiction, probably felt like the one way out was suicide, he has probably cried out to God, asking Him why me. The gambler go through as much hell as the family go through (not to minimize your feelings). I tried stopping on many occasions, I would actually win a decent amount of money and still leave in the hole. It’s really not the money once you are addicted, it’s about the gamble. Right before I decided to go cold turkey this time I had just gotten a decent amount of money, I had never played on line but someone mentioned an online gambling site they used. To make a long story short, I played, I won, I lost and before getting in the hole I decided to contact the the folks incharge and asked them to completely delete my account, which they did.
But I had to stop all gambling, including the free online games and lottery to make this work. I actually deleted everything to do with gambling off my phone, EVERYTHING.
So far, it’s working.
But I am so sorry to read about all the pain and disappointment you are going through. But I would like to assure you, your husband lose all self control win he gamble, even when he want to leave that voice tells him to stay. It sound like it should be as simple as just getting up, but trust me, it’s not, I wish to God it was. The only way for us to stop is by not placing the first bet, not putting money on the machine.
Again, I can’t apologize enough for all you are going through, but at the same time my heart goes out to your husband because I know his feelings/actions first hand and I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
Praying for your family.?
