[Amber_Disfordone]

I didn’t make it to the in person meeting this morning but I did go to one online that I think I was meant to be in instead. A lot of things said I needed to hear. I spent some time today looking back at what I was writing here in the past. There is hope. The longest I’ve stayed committed to this journal was 43 days from what I can see. The fact that it got me to 43 days shows me that it does help. I must be diligent with this, with meetings, prayer. Those things have helped. Not doing them has always led me back to devastation. I can not do this alone. I am powerless to gambling.