Hi CB
Was it really obsession with him, or were you not just trying to be a good wife, even when he wasn’t behaving well?
Worrying can certainly take over your your life but being able to look back and realise that none of the worrying made any difference, I think, helps to put it all into context.
I am wary of the term ‘co-dependent’. I think it is maybe something we feel we must have been when a loved one’s addiction has seemingly controlled ‘our’ lives. Hopefully, as you re-take control of your own life, will come understanding that it was his addiction seeking to control you and you are, in fact, not just ok but managing really brilliantly.
It is my belief that the longer you are apart from ‘gambling’ the less worry you feel for the gambler. You have recognised that it is down to him to control his life and that is a massive step forward.
I think you have every right to be proud of the improvement you see in yourself, although I suspect you were always good, you just lost your way in the fog.
So, to the future. Well if you continue as you are doing now I think you will eventually be in a better place than you have ever been. I believe that such a terrible experience has to be turned into something good or we have wasted years of our lives – and that thought must never be in contention..
Your parents have not been the most supportive although I suspect that, in their own way, they have done the best they could. Maybe seeing you emerge with renewed self-confidence and self-esteem, (which I am sure you will) will help them to appreciate you, as you deserve to be, I hope so.
Speak soon
Velvet