[Dark Energy]

thank you Joerdj,
Day#8,
depressed not for the money that I lost but for the time that I lost, years of my life wasted for this addiction. I hope this is the end of it but, to be honest, I don’t think so. it is most likely “based on the previous relapses” at some point in the next 100 days I will relapse. as bad as it is, this is what “most likely” will happen.

I know I sound very defeated, yes I am f***** defeated yes I am.
relapsed 10 times or more in the past 2 years, piled up my debts again to almost the same level that I was 4 years ago. but what I can do! there is no other choice but to stand up and fight again even if I know that it is most likely I will fail.