Had a lapse on Friday and Saturday. I know why after the fact but at the time I was so lost and overwhelmed I felt the only way I could get through it was to bury myself in my old addiction. Unfortunately I didn’t have the blockers on my phone and computer to stop myself. I have them now though.
I have emailed my GT support worker about it cos doing so means it’s out in the open and I don’t feel like a liar and unworthy of help.
I’m not unworthy – this is just going to be a lapse and not a full return to that terrible addiction.
It’s time to get demand help from the stress and lack of control I feel I have in my home and work life. I just wish I didn’t feel so tired of trying and getting no where. I wonder if I write I am not a doormat a hundred times it will give me the assertiveness I need to get resolution.
