Hi CB
I hope you will soon walk tall and put these mind-blowing ignorant words behind you. I lived with the addiction to gamble in my family for 25 years without knowing what it was that was wrong. I am neither stupid nor small, I loved him for who he was, not for his addiction. He made sure that I did not know what his problem was because he knew enablement would stop. The result was that I did all the wrong things for all the right reasons. Fortunately nobody implied I was stupid or asked me why I loved him although I am aware that many people did not and never will understand.
There is no crystal ball to tell us what the future will hold but I hope that your estrangement will go some way towards bringing your husband to recovery – sadly many gamblers must hurt themselves a lot before they reach rock bottom.
However, whatever the outcome for your husband, you should be very proud that you had the courage to make a decision that is right for you. I am not embarrassed to talk about what happened to me and neither should you be, you neither asked for nor wanted his addiction.
Maybe you could say to your parents that you would like their support but you do not want to talk about what has happened. Perhaps they spoke in anger that you had been hurt by your husband and that they hadn’t saved you. If you had a good relationship with them before, then it will probably be worth salvaging – hopefully when they see that you are healthy, happy and living the life you want to live they will regret their lack of support.
I hope you will keep posting. It would be great to ‘meet’ you in a Friend’s and Family group on a Tuesday or Thursday 19.00 – 20.00 hrs UK time although I am taking a short break soon to catch up with family and old friends so I will not be facilitating on 24th and 31st August or 2nd September. I am here on Thursday 26th and then back again on September 7th – it would be great to communicate in real time, it is private and safe.
Velvet