Thanks for your words guys. I’m proud of my days so far. But it’s not like I just started gambling and then immediately decided to stop. I’ve been through all manner of relapses over the past near 20 years. The difference I guess is the amount I lost. I know people are different and I’ve said it myself before that I needed it. I needed to lose that money. I honestly believe that I had to blow every penny of my savings to truely teach me a lesson. If I’d blown everything but a grand, then I’d of he a grand and a belief I could carry on. No money, no belief, no way back. Only forward, and that’s what I’ve done. I’m not saying that everyone needs to go out and blow everything to teach themselves a lesson, I’m just going off my own personal feeling. Whenever I think about gambling I only have to think back to that lowest point when I didn’t have two pennies to rub together and not a pot to piss in. It’s a lesson learned and one that I’m continuing to pay for. But that constant need to pay for my past bank account crimes is what keeps me going. I’m nowhere near where I want to be, but at 9 grand from zero in about 15 months is a pretty good start. I’d be much happier if I could continue at that rate without hassle, but constant pressure to get my own house sorted out is always chipping away at me. If only I could explain why I need more time. But I’m too much of a coward. It doesn’t help that money has been going out much more too. I bought my girlfriend a ps4 last night for £300. My rent goes out tomorrow, £250. Then all my bills go out this week too. So that’s like two or three weeks wages. Not much chance for saving. I’m starting to sound like I’m complaining now, so I’ll move on. I know that as long as I carry on working and not gambling, my savings will take care of themselves.
In other news, it’s been about 3 weeks since I did my back. It’s much better now, but it’s still seizing up every time I sit down. Liverpool lost their first major European final in 11 years. I watched it at work when I really didn’t want to. I don’t like interacting with people when it’s an important game. So after the final whistle I managed to have a blazing row with three deaf blokes. It’s easier than it sounds. As long as you can stick up your middle finger than do a five knuckle shuffle, you can string together a perfect sentence. Not my finest moment I know, but like I said, I didn’t want to watch it at work, my dad asked me to go. I’m hoping to get away for a bit soon. I’ve got a week off coming up in July so hopefully some nice weather will save itself for me.
Bye for now guys. Keep it real.
