Dear Panterix
It takes years, I think, to see the cycle unfold while in the meantime life just feels like a confusing recurring nightmare that makes no sense. You were aware that there were cycles and I hope now that you can spot them you can use the knowledge to help you cope.
I am sorry to say that if you break your cycle it does not mean your husband will automatically break out of his. You are not responsible for his gambling; gambling is his choice and the ability to stop lies with him.
Looking after yourself first will help you and your daughter cope but unless your husband accepts his problem and actively seeks to stop gambling, his cycle will continue and sadly probably get worse.
Your husband should never give up Pan. He has reached an excellent age to say enough is enough; there is a lot of wreckage behind him but a lot of life ahead, that could be wonderful, if he is prepared to take a leap of faith. We have terrific facilities for gamblers like your husband; we have ‘gambler only’ groups, facilitated by Charles where your husband would be welcomed and understood if he chose to join. If his first language is not English, let me know.
I know he has tried GA and AA before but maybe he hasn’t found the path that is right for him yet. I believe it only takes finding the right person or organisation to find a gamble-free life. Maye you could get him to look at https://gamblersinrecovery.com/ or Virtual Meetings on the Gamblers Anonymous website. He has nothing to lose by trying different ways to recovery but everything to gain, he should never give up.
As a moderator for F&F in Gambling Therapy, Pan, my first concern is for you but I also know that if you are ok then you are doing the best thing for your husband If however you are not doing ok then I will always be here for you and I will walk with you but I cannot tell you what to do, I hope you will understand this.
I will close here and wait for your reply
Es Ever
Velvet