Hi T
It was nice to chat to you last night.
There is gambling addiction which those of us you chatted with last night have.
An abusive relationship is a completely different matter.
I have known enough people with gambling addiction to be able to say one does not cause or excuse the other. Sometimes friends and families try to use gambling as an excuse for abusive behaviour but there aren’t any excuses.
Most of the people I know who gamble are very nice people trying really hard to control an addiction. I also know one who is a bully and who is abusive to his family.
No one should put up with abusive behaviour. Many people don’t even realise that their labelling of people and calling them lazy, fat or whatever other label they choose is abusive.
https://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/
Check out this link. Pay particular attention to the section on emotional abuse.
I hope you make the right decision for you but please believe you deserve to be respected and cherished by your other half.