Hi T
I have just seen your post on Velley’s thread.
I cannot tell you that if you do (a) or (b) then everything will be alright because I don’t have a crystal ball. Your bf is not thinking logically but, in my opinion, he is manipulating you with his anger to get money to indulge his addiction. What I do know is that if you give him money then you will fuel his addiction and he will be back demanding more.
The addiction to gamble is selfish and I doubt you will see any of the money he has promised you. It is only when you recognise that you are part of the cycle that you will know what is right for you.
Your bf’s addiction is the master of manipulation. You probably find yourself in the middle of an argument without knowing how you got there. When he is shouting at you, he will probably welcome you shouting back because it gives him a chance to shout louder and blame you. Shouting, pleading and threatening will merely waste your energy and change nothing.
Maybe you could let him know that you have had to seek help for yourself because you need support and you want to do what is right for both of you. Perhaps you could download the 20-Questions from the Gamblers Anonymous web site and leave them for him to see – I don’t suggest handling them to him as this will almost certainly give him an opportunity to start another row.
Please keep posting T. I’m sorry you didn’t make the group this evening but there is another one next Tuesday.
Velvet
