I really do not know how I survive the last 6 months but I did. There was just too many things going on at the same time.
Even as I completed the task over time, I can see what was happening to me. I was anxious and fearful because of my remaiing debt and commitment, I was afraid that I would relapse and self-destruct, I was stress by mum, work, selling my old flat, and buying a new flat.
I just realize that my old laptop was not working recently and my daily activity or pattern was badly affected. I was actually suffering from the withdrawal of surfing the internet that I do everyday.
I could have fill up this void with all form of self destructive behavior but somehow I struggle and survive.It is not worth it, I did not want to be too calculative with myself for once for fear of ruining everything in my life now and bought a new laptop, radio and alarm clock to cope with my daily activities and let everything return to normal.