well day 5 doesn’t. sound alot but every day GF is a achievement ,but one day at a time
Anyway done my first councillor meeting yesterday it went well I was honest and felt emotional for what I.de done but we did start constructive rebuilding so all was good (small steps)
well today I feel low (its bound to happen from time to time ) but I.m prepared for them .
anyhow I tried to talk to my partner about understanding my illness and supporting me through listening so we can rebuild the trust that I.ve taken from her and her family .
after trying to explain what I wanted its was quite apparent her thinking its not going to be sympathetic to my illness .so in true style my mind thinks ok just go along with her way but deal with this on my own and try not to explain my illness she doesn’t, really want to hear .
but with comment like ” you are weak ” or I am supporting you I.m letting you live in my house ”
I did feel belittled and it doesn’t do my self confidence alot of good (that’s ok I.m fine with it as I.ve been hear before with my own family some time ago )
and I managed my life by just going along with them even if they didn.t want to know .
just got to remember if they need help with anything I.ll help and not be petty because to be honest they are hurting
but you never know its early she might soften to my condition who knows .
i.m going to just take it one day at a time on my own if needs be.
also tried speaking to her youngest son he just blanked me but again I expected nothing different to be honest .
so here I am sitting alone at home feeling low and remorseful but no urge to go and gamble but just flat and no motivation to do nothing but sit quietly by myself and reflect ,although I.ll be glad to get back to work monday ,so got something to look forward too .
on a positive note I.m moving forward I know I.m going in the right direction onwards and upwards .
