Lily, Velvet,
Of course you lovely ladies are right as always. Good weather helps good mood so I’m feeling better about a lot of things.
I think I’m finally seeing the light. Friday was more lies, which i already knew were lies but they had to be sorted out.
Saturday we had a really lovely day just me and CG we talked about a lot of things but that included him talking about his bets. I don’t know why he wants to talk about them with me. Its like he is testing me.
Sunday was awful. I was treated terribly and more arguing. CG hasnt spoken to me since he stormed out of his house to go to work.
Yesterday.
I finally handed my notice in at work. My boss seemed to align it with me having personal issues and needing to leave to be closer to my family rather than thats just where I want to be. But whatever makes him happy. That is finally a weight off my mind even if they do want me to work beyond my notice period.
And then i messaged CG. I was very clear setting out why i was unhappy with the name calling and his action on the sunday and that it shows to me that he does not consider that he and I have a future together.
And neither do I whilst his addictions are winning. Gambling is a selfish addiction it takes everything and gives nothing back. It drains him and I see it in him. And now it is draining me.
That gambling had taken us down with it. And we were always so good together but the way it is at the minute we dont stand a chance. I hate that the house always wins.
And i told him that i miss him.
He carried on ignoring me and i still haven’t heard from him apart from him posting a video in a group chat we have with his sister, which was odd. He could have just sent it to his sister?
For the first time in a very long time i feel like me again. I’m in control of everything in my life for the first time in over a year and am cutting out the two biggest stresses in my life. My job and gambling.
Tiny steps forward are better than standing still right?
Logic x