Thanks Gbaybh! Very insightful post. I can relate to much of what you said. I do exercise and eat right, well for the most part I do. If you were around me this week with the Fair here you would beg to differ on the Eat right part. 🙂 🙂 I know that was not your point but I like to amuse myself at times. I am way past the school part. I graduated from college in 1995. When I look back I was introduced to gambling as a kid but it did not start getting out of control until my late college days. I remember sitting at the dog tracks while studying for exams. Yikes!! Back than I gambled a lot and did so for many years. (Casino, Card’s, tracks, sports bets, bar machines you name it) Around 2000 it was mostly casino on almost a daily basis (4-5 days a week). I am getting off track but I always set high expectations on myself as to please my parents and everyone else. That behavior definitely contributed to gambling because I never wanted to fail so I continued gambling to cover my tracks if that makes any sense. Anyways years later I am able to not gamble for stretch’s at a time but now all the damage this addiction has caused , it has turned me into a pattern gambler. This time I am trying to take every action I can to stay aware and in front of any relapse. I know GA works for many people and as you mentioned we need to do what works for us. Personally I do not care for GA. I have tried it numerous times throughout the years. I do like CR but that’s my problem I never stick to anything because my addicted brain sometimes thinks I do not need any kind of meetings. Well I know that I need to again “stay ahead of my addiction”’so I am going to several meetings this week 2 being CR and 2 being smart recovery. (Never tried smart but going to test the waters) When I feel better which I already do I am going to keep going. I will continue to post and most importantly for me I am going to talk to the best Counslor on a daily basis. For me that is God. I have yet to figure out my triggers but I do believe when life is going good I tend to self destruct.
