you are fighting the urge of gambling, all the logic in the world is tilling you this is an insane Idea and it will lead for more losses, i was in your shoes i have lost a total of 200,000$ half of it loans and credit card, it costs me that much until I reached to a rock bottom, and to figure out I have a gambling addiction, you don’t have to do the same.
you don’t have to go that far, you are here surrounded with all these stories of people faced exactly what you are facing now, and there is only two results (either to stop and start over your life or to gamble and lose it all ), go through this website read the stories and compare what they went through to what you are going through.
If you need a better ending than 90% of the stories in this website stop right now if you need to continue then you will lose all what you have.
it is simple as brucey said if you win you will continue gambling because of the euphoria, if you lose you will continue gambling chasing your loses. No way out until you lose all your money, and all the money that you can get ( loans, family …etc).
I am reading your postes and i am really ungrey I am seeing my self 5 years ago and I am trying to explain to “the young me” (you) that you don’t have to go throgh all the suffering, all the hard time, wasting money and wasting years of your life, losing money frindes and every thing, you don’t have to reach that far to realise that you have and addiction and you need to stop and start over.
finally, i know you may accept and understand what every one in this forum is traying to tell you, but at this stage you may not understand the fact that inspite of I and almost every one here can give a lecture about how to treat and how to deal with the gambling addiction inspite of that many of us is relapsing from time to time. you should be aware that you can’t fight it alone and you should understand this as early as possible, don’t deppend only in your willpower “it is not enough”.
the drug is the money so keep it away from you, get some one from your family to be involved to control your access to the money, build a stratigies to prevent you from gambling if your willpower failed you, and don’t under estimate your self if the gambling urge started your brain will work 100% to break your prevention stratiges so build it well whn you are in control so when the gambling addiction take the control you will be ready to fight back.
again please stop, and take action to grantee that you will stop.