Many of us have been unwilling to admit we were real compulsive gamblers.
No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from any other normal person.
Therefore, it is not surprising that our gambling careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could gamble like other normal people.
The idea that somehow, someday he can control and enjoy his gambling is the great obsession of every compulsive gambler.
The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of hell, insanity, heavy debt, bankruptcy, broken marriage, career, and family, suicide or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were compulsive gambler. This is the first step in recovery.
The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We compulsive gamblers are men and women who have lost the ability to control our gambling.
We know that no compulsive gambler ever recovers control.
Every one of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
We are convinced that compulsive gamblers of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness.
Over any considerable period, we get worse, never better.
We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones.
Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make compulsive gambler of our kind like any other normal person. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances, there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse.
Physicians who are familiar with compulsive gamblers agree there is no such thing as making a normal gambler out of a compulsive gambler.
Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real compulsive gambler are not going to believe they are in that class.
By every form of self-deception and experimentation, compulsive gamblers will try to prove themselves that they are not a compulsive problem gambler.
Many including myself like to think that we are an exceptions to this rule.
If anyone who is showing inability to control his gambling can change and gamble like a normal gentleman, our hats are off to him.
Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to gamble like other normal people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: limiting the amount of money to gamble, limiting the number of hours spend on gambling each time, limiting the number of visit to gamble, never gambling alone, never gambling during business hours, never borrow to gamble, more careful and selective on every gamble; never gamble on every game, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, having hobbies, attending gambling support group meeting, going to Sunday service in church, reading the bible and working the 12 steps recovery program—we could increase the list.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as a compulsive gambler, but you can quickly diagnose yourself.
Try some controlled gambling. Try to gamble and stop. Try it more than once for a period of time. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it.
Though there is no way of proving it, many wanted to stop gambling, but the difficulty is that few compulsive gamblers have enough desire to stop while there is yet money, place and time to gamble.
We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of compulsive gambling, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so.
For example
I have the desire to stop gambling, I can see that my gambling would get me nowhere. Once I start gambling, I would gradually loses all my self-control one day. So, I made up my mind to stop gambling, I would not gamble or place the next bet.
After a successful gamble free period of a year. I fell victim to a belief which practically every compulsive gambler has —that his long period of gamble free time, clear mind, sobriety, self-discipline and self-control had qualified me to gamble like a normal person.
In a matter of days, weeks or months, I would hit another gambling rock bottom, puzzled and humiliated.
I will try to limit my gambling for a while, before gathering all my strength, attempting to stop gambling again and found out that I could not.
This case contains a powerful lesson. Most of us have believed that if we remained sober for a long stretch, we could thereafter gamble normally.
We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again: “Once a compulsive gambler, always a compulsive gambler.’’
Commencing to gamble after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.
If we are planning to stop gambling, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to compulsive gambling.
I like to think that I can stop gambling, on my own will power. I doubt if I can do it, because I want to stop gambling yet I love gambling, and really like to gamble again.