Hi, First well done for reaching out on this forum You have lost a lot and I would say that this point in time *****ing your losses will make you feel worse. It seems that the more you ***** he more desperate you are to quickly ‘win’ back those losses.
You have a real gaming problem and the gambling has taken control. I lost £20,000 within half an hour on slots. I stopped for a week or so after that happened as I was in shock but soon gambled after that losing around £8,000 in total (give or take) Right now I do not have any urges to gamble and have come to a point where I can’t afford anymore losses. I think that refraining from gambling will help us. Playing again and again will only keep the habit alive and create a stronger habit.
Please don’t rule out therapy, we have to be serious about stopping (not half in) Make a fresh start and let go of losses. If we don’t, our losses will only grow in number over time. You spend hours and days playing and that habit will take time to kick.
I have put many barriers in place now, including handing my bank cards over to my husband. I also told him about my first big loss and my urges to gamble during that time.
If your family and gf think you have $30k you should consider being honest with them. That may create problems for you later. You need someone to support you through this and help you put barriers in place as You are early on in your recovery
Good luck and please keep posting