I wasn’t sure where to begin with my forum post – so thought I’d tell my gambling story – but there is so much! Anyways in a while I will go onto my real gambling problem time which I hinted at in my first post.
I’m not sure whether to do that here or on another thread – what’s the etiquette?
I think when I was a child, I saw all of my problems as being from a starting point of “I am poor.” The bullying for not having the right uniform at school, not being able to go anywhere. No holidays (is that why I am travelling the world now?) When I started earning money and having more than I knew what to do with – I felt guilty, as if I didn’t deserve it. Of course I had no family history of how to save – I didn’t learn the value of money. So as long as all the immediate bills were paid – anything else was available to do what I liked – and I liked to gamble. In a sense I carried my childhood into my adult life – and had to shake free of this “need” to remain poor. Even now I feel uncomfortable if I spend more than I “need” to – giving myself a treat is a battle. I am hoping that travelling and being out of my comfort zone will help me to grow up. I need to, I am in my 60s after all!