So it’s been a while since my last post. I’ve been very stressed and worried lately. and I guess that’s why I haven’t found the strength, time and will to do any updating here. However, I figured that this is a milestone and that I should probably say something. In fact, there is something I want to announce, but let me just fill you up with what I’ve been doing lately.
I finally finished my Bachelor’s thesis, which was due July, 31. I was not really happy with the final product, but at the moment I just need to get through this education to the best of my ability so that I can allocate more time to my recovery. I will be defending it August, 27, so hopefully I get a decent grade – otherwise, I think it will be a hard blow to me.
A decision I have had to make was canceling my summer elective course from August, 12 to August 30. I realized, after a lot of stress and anxiety in a prolonged period, that having exams August 16, 26 and 27 whilst attending a summer elective was too much on my plate. I immediately felt a little better once I came to terms with this. This is a reoccurring problem with me. I’ve been fighting the consequences of my addiction by stressing myself and taking too much on, which is a sign of impatience. Not good…
Tomorrow is my 25th birthday, and so, I have come to another decision. I will come clean to all my nearest friends about my recent absence, my struggles and basically what’s been going on in my life. I figured I would start my 25th year with honesty and transparency. No more secrets, no more facades, no more shallow relationships. I want to reconnect with my friends by laying all cards on the table and start the rebuilding on a foundation that is truly aligned with what I’m about. In my 5 months of recovery, I haven’t been able to tell my friends, in person, about my addiction (except for 3 of them), and who knows when I will be ready for that. Instead, I’m just gonna let them know in a message. I figured it’s better to go the easy route and come clean, rather than keeping this a secret.
I think this was all I wanted to share right now. Thank you for listening and good luck to you all.
– Chris