It’s now day 9 of no gambling, round 2.
I still am struggling to believe I lost 10k in less than 3 weeks. I feel really alone, I live alone and at times the silence and own thoughts in my head can be deafening. But I’ve done really well with my finances this week and now only have 4 days to go until my fortnightly pay. I am going with some food (just eating basics like rice and fruit, cheap), when I’m home I stay home and save my petrol to get to and from work.
And I know it will begin to get a little easier with the next couple of pays in my account. Plus I have taken on some extra freelance work in the next few weeks to help keep me afloat.
I didn’t get to see my councillor on Friday as I had hoped. He doesn’t yet know that I’ve relapsed and I felt desperate to see him and talk. But he was booked up so I have another 5 days to wait until my appointment.
Right now I feel so alone, but I can’t express how relieved I feel right now to not be currently gambling. And I really want to keep it that way.
I’m a bit lost at the moment, but believe I can get through this. I’m finally setting a little sleep and beginning to accept what I’ve just done. I want to look ahead now, looking backwards no longer serves me