Hi IRock,
We all feel really special when we gamble and win- like we have some special quality above others which make us good at gambling.
You have written you are not special but I would say indeed you are.-we all are- except we do not have a special power when it comes to gambling .
Any insight we had into picking the right bet , what ever our choice of gambling , is soon cancelled once we cross that line into addiction as huge wins no longer get cashed out and just become the fuel to keep us in action longer .
I hope you do find that desire to stop- many people say you need to reach rock bottom to find out but I think we just need to value ourselves and our peace of mind enough.
Keep posting and I hope you have a great week.