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Hi everybody. I have been gambling for 9 years since I turned 18. I am currently 27 years old. My
problem is with online gambling sites. It seems that whenever I start to get ahead and have been
doing well that I somehow fall back into the fog and end up losing everything I have saved and
more. I never had money when I was 18-22 because every paycheck I made would go straight to
the online sites. Even when I won big, it was only a matter of time before I lost it all. I went about
2 years without falling back into the trap, but for the past 3 years I have been gambling on and
off. I will be doing well for maybe 6 months, but then I will somehow find my way back to the place
that I have tried to banish myself from. Before I know it, I’m back to square one again financially.
I cancelled my credit cards a couple years ago, I have banned myself from more sites than I’ll ever
remember but there are always ways to get around it. I don’t think I will ever hit a win big enough
that will satisfy me to the point where I stop playing. It’s the high I’m chasing I guess, not the money.
No matter how big I’ve won in the past it seems to always be given right back to where it came from.
And I know that when I win. It’s a sick feeling when you win 10 grand and know that you can’t stop
and it will only be a matter of days/weeks before you log back in and lose it all and then some. I have
lost tens of thousands of dollars gambling over the years. It’s unhealthy. I feel like I am in a large well
that I am trying to climb out of. And just when I get to the top I lose my footing and fall all the way
back down to the bottom. I have been doing well lately but yesterday I lost my footing again. I
managed to catch myself before I fell all the way to the bottom but I can sense that the earth is
unstable and another slip is only a few clicks away. I have never written any of this down
before and I want to hold myself accountable so I decided to post this here. I don’t find myself in debt
right now because I have no means of getting into debt without the credit cards. But I know that I am
always a couple clicks away from emptying my bank account again. I’ve had it.I hope the format of this post works out okay. I was having difficulties with the page while writing.
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Hello and thanks for starting a thread in the Gambling Therapy forums
Here at Gambling Therapy we pride ourselves on being a caring and diverse online community who can help and support you with the difficulties you’re currently facing. We understand that this might be a tough time for you, particularly if you’re new to recovery, so come here as often as you need to and participate in the forums, access online groups and connect to the live advice helpline if you need one to one support. We’re in this together!
Here on the forum you can share your experiences in a safe, supportive and accepting environment. The beauty of writing it all down is that you can take your time and you will be creating a record of your progress that you can look back on if it ever feels like you’re not moving forward. So, share as much or as little as you like but do try to stick to keeping just one thread in this forum so people know where to find you if they want to be updated on your progress or share something with you.
As well as the forums New Members are invited to join Charles in the New Members Practical Advice Group On Mondays at 21:00 (UK) and Thursday at 19:00(UK)
And on that note….
I’m going to hand you over to our community because I’m sure they will have some words of wisdom for you 🙂
Take care
The Gambling Therapy Team
PS: Let me just remind you to take a look at our privacy policy and terms and conditions so you know how it all works!
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If you click on the “Information” part of this site and then on “what is problem gambling” there is a rather sad little cartoon which shows someone chasing the high and what eventually happens.
It seems you know what the practical things are to do about stopping but are good at sabotaging yourself. Do you know what your triggers are – what makes you want to place a bet on-line?
I get a sense that you feel quite isolated with your problem – does anyone close to you know? Have you thought about talking to a self-help group like GA or going for counselling? You can keep this journal going and I will respond when I can, as will others.
The groups will allow you to talk to others in real time and there are other services on here that will help. Put as much time into your recovery as you did into your gambling and you should start to feel you are starting anew. I wish you well.
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