Hi Heatherly
Just a quick follow up to our official welcome post – I wanted to tell you that I understood your post completely and I would never tell you to leave or to stay with your husband. Hopefully exchanging posts with you and maybe meeting you in our F&F group next Tuesday, between 8 and 9pm, where we can communicate in real time, you will find the answers that you need to help you cope.
Unfortunately it is late and I am just off to bed and possibly unable to write to you again tomorrow but I will write again soon.
In the meantime, although I cannot tell you what to do because all decisions must be yours, it would good if you could open an account, that your husband had no access to, (and hopefully no knowledge of) in which you could save monies to protect yourself. How did he get access to the home loan money that you had saved?
Perhaps you could look up Gamanon meetings – Gamanon is the sister group of GA and is for family and friends of CGs (compulsive gamblers). I feel this would be particularly useful for you as you are feeling so lonely. To sit in a room and have physical contact with those who understand you is very powerful. I found my salvation in Gamanon. Always remember that groups are made up of individuals and if the first group you try is not right, don’t give up – try another.
I will leave my first post to you there but please be assured you are being heard and understood – you are not alone. I am no longer in the same position as you but I had many years of living with the addiction to gamble and I will gladly use my experience and knowledge to support you.
Avoid arguments which get you nowhere and I will explain why and how you can cope in my next post.
I have brought up my thread entitled ‘The F&F Cycle’ for you – I hope it will help you know that you are understood
Well done writing what must have been a difficult post – the first one is the hardest.
Velvet
