Welcome back Rayman, I’m sorry to hear of your relapse. It is very painful to flush all that progress down the toilet. Once you place that first bet it felt like you were powerless to stop the return to old ways. Yes we can fool ourselves for a little while. We can do this responsibly, we have learned not to go too far, and then we crash all over again. I’ve been there.
The good news is that your mind hasn’t forgotten those 18 months! You can get back into the groove of recovery! You can find your way out of this again! And it will feel familiar quickly, the life of non gambling! The only thing that saved me from a terrible back slide was my barriers. I couldn’t access all of my money. Something for you to consider.
What can you do to protect your money from you? Can you transfer it to bank accounts you don’t have access to? Can you have a trusted family member hold some money for you? What can you do to work on you? Can you access any sort of counseling? This is your life you are fighting for and you are worth it. What about bans? or closing gambling accounts? Do you use your phone or computer? What about a gambling blocker?
There is still a lot of life left to live. How are you going to live it?
All the best Rayman!