Hi Jilly,
Now I am the one who has to answer right away because something really struck a chord: “If I had to treat someone that way I would think it was a mistake to have employed them!” That is exactly the way I feel! And I apply the same concept to marriage: if I cannot trust my partner with business decisions, I should not be business partners with him, and if I cannot trust my partner with my life, I should not be married to him. Period.
I am not the type who wants to, or can, check stories, and stuff, go through emails, etc. if I were to be cheated on I know for a fact that I would be the last one to know.
I know I should blame myself for being so naïve, and I do, I really do, constantly, but then again, I also don’t because that is not how love and marriage should be, if you know what I mean. I know that what I just said may sound confusing, but it makes perfect sense to me.
Well, I am glad I am not the only one who apparently married a saint, but you outclassed me by marrying the Lord and Savior himself!!! I can so totally relate, my therapist always pointed out how I would always end my ramblings with “well, I did marry a very decent human being, not a bad person, at all, very good parent, worker, etc. I mean, outside this one area, I am actually the difficult one, I am the one who likes to sit at a certain table in a restaurant, or will ask the waitress to clean the table if I see a little speck of dirt somewhere. I am the one who spends more than an hour in the bathroom between showering and stuff, I am the one who needs to clean the house and have it ‘just so’, etc…”
See, I have my “things”, cleanliness being one of these, but a) that is how I cope with stress, b) as annoying as my “things” might be, they don’t cost us thousands and thousands of dollars and they won’t land us on a street!!!
See, we discuss about all this almost daily, and I am reminded almost daily that I have my quirks, too, “therefore we are even”, but I beg to differ!!! One thing is an annoying habit and another is a horrible compulsion that gets people broke!
Plus, I do not lie about finding dirty glasses at a restaurant gross and asking for a new glass and drink, I don’t lie about spending 40 minutes cleaning the kitchen where someone else could probably get the job done in 15 minutes, of course not with the same level of hygiene. I don’t lie about flushing the toilet with my foot! See what I mean?
Well, I honestly think, and I am ashamed to admit it, that you were “lucky” to have been cheated on because, just like you, I don’t think I would ever have the strength and determination to leave, I know I wouldn’t, and therefore there is part of me that says, real softly in my other ear, if that could also happen to me, being cheated on, that is, adultery is indeed grounds for divorce even in the Book… I know, horrible thought…
Well, I have more but I need to get back to work, I have a lot to do, then I still have to do the laundry for the whole week, I need to iron, get everything ready for tomorrow, and, and, and…
Thanks for sharing and comforting me a bit, in a way,
Andi