Thankyou

Yes it is a living nightmare isn’t it! So much self loathing that happens when u have a blow out. While I haven’t gone and blown thousands in a night… I go and loose 2-3 hundred regularly. And if I’m down to my last 100 b4 payday then I justify how little I need to live off just so that I can go.
I know I can’t control it once I’m there… So the trick is not to go. At all. And it doesn’t bring me joy… It brings loneliness and boredom… Because as a result of flitting away my money… I’m bound to the house with little spare to socialise or for fuel to get out and about. And it is then this massive revolving circle… Because come pay day… I’m desperate to get out! I want off the merry go round.
Thanks for your kind words xxx