Thursday night!

Yeap!!! I gambled Wednesday night after work. I drove over 1 hour to a neighboring town where I haven’t banned. I didn’t get home till 3am this morning. I watched movies and laid on the couch all day till work tonight. The damage wasn’t a lot but enough. I can pay all of my bills but one. Do, next month I start out in the hole again. Why did I gamble? I don’t know. It wasn’t enjoyable at all. I think I keep sabotaging my progress because I’M afraid. Afraid of moving forward. Afraid of change. I’m scared. I can’t continue like this. I will never reach my goals and dreams! I think I’ve lived with this addiction for so long that I don’t know how to be “normal”. It’s so irritating!!!