Thank you also so much, Jilly. How lucky I am to have such wonderful and wise input! I feel honoured.
I understand to clearly everything you say, Jilly, and you express it so well. But then I feel backed into that corner, berate myself for how I got there, and I lose my sense of power and clarity. But I do believe it will come more and more with time. And that I have truly advanced from where I was just a couple of months ago.
I so understand that it is his process and I am not here to fix him. But perhaps I make excuses for him as I know he doesn´t have the support options and I can´t just at least suggest…this or that counselling, or GA…I hope we can have calm, clear conversations and I can just explain some of the things I have learned (that can be related to him) and he can take what he can and wants to of it. I just have to see. I just have to find more things to focus on other than him (so hard in Cuba as it is so hard for me to find balance there, it is so isolating). I have to find more ways to do things for myself to carry myself through the harder times when there is conflicts and setbacks happen. I have to remain focussed on the positive.
He is changing and trying, there is some progress even if it is such early days so, despite my feelings of recent days, I am encouraged to go back and see. And I am focussing on me and how best to be for me in all of this so that I get a better version of me (as I have a lifelong relationship with myself) and he does too.
I like that: “We teach people how to teach us” and I interpret it as by living our own example of who we want to be, being who we are, a separate me marked by healthy boundaries, and not by lecturing and protesting to someone who doesn´t want to listen…knowing the difference between supporting and walking alongside, and controlling or surrendering to the other person.
I have rambled and ranted so much in the past few days! Phew!
Everyone has been so incredibly helpful and supportive. I know I will carry this with me when I travel.