Thank you so much to both of you for your thoughtful replies. Sometimes, yes, it does feel like focusing on the negative a bit, but I guess in the end it is all a result of loss of trust and that is very hard to rebuild and can only be done so by actions over time. Then with this loss of trust come skewed power dynamics in seeking to control situations where there is no trust – since the desire to control comes from lack of trust. It is definitely hard! For now, I sent my husband the money to organise the contract for the house as he said it would be lost otherwise as other people wanted it, and really I believe this. He already picked up the money yesterday. It was not a lot of money, but, yes, it is a risk. He does have a roof over his head and food as he is at his uncle´s house (but they have very little too), and I wanted to be here in Mexico away from him also so that he would feel more consequences of his gambling, that he would be more on his own to deal with them, and I have told him more often now and more firmly that they are his problems and his responsibility to sort out and that I didn´t cause them. I am trying to concentrate more on my own well-being, but also here is the place where I talk about things related to my husband and his gambling. I am also in a strange situation as I am quite in limbo as I picked a place to be away from him that is not around friends and family and is only very temporary. But really, like many of us experience, it is a matter of time and waiting and seeing how things go. And for now, things still feel with my husband like they can go any way any day, even if he himself tells me I don´t have to worry anymore that if he says no more, it will be no more…time will tell and also at the moment he is more motivated not to gamble because he wants to see me go back to him in Cuba.
Patience… 🙂