Good morning Monica, or it might feel like evening to you as you’ve been up quite a spell. Bureaucracy! It’s a nightmare. I cringe whenever I have to deal with it!
I can imagine how you must feel right now with Christmas coming and everyone preparing while your life is on hold. I had almost a permanent sensitivity for the first few months where i would flush with embarrassment or shame. Any little remark could set it off. I felt like everyone knew I had gambled away everything. Like it was stamped on my forehead. I went through the experience of having to tell people important to me that I had left myself destitute. Also not long before Christmas. I was lent enough to save face Christmas day with the kids of the family. The adults knew what was going on and didn’t expect anything. It can be so difficult to tell someone we love, and whom we have the respect of, that we messed up, that we are ill, and yes it is that serious. Deep breath. I hope your sister supports you as much as mine supported me.
Are you being bothered by creditors at the moment? I’m wondering what the rush for bankruptcy is if it will prevent you from working in your current field. Might be a blessing in disguise not to be able to file yet as long as the creditors are currently leaving you alone and not causing you mental distress.
Getting through all this shite is very difficult. Others can’t go through it for us, but they can help us get through it. Take the support you can get no matter where it comes from. Because you are so right, you don’t deserve this. I don’t know if anyone gets what they are deserved (look at all those who suffer through war and famine including innocent babies and children). Bad things happen to good people. But you do deserve any and every life line that comes your way. From family, from agencies, from friends. PLEASE take them. (((( Monica ))))
Laura