Thank you friends for the good wishes. I have been home now for about an hour.
For some reason I was more apprehensive than even the major surgery I went through. I work in healthcare so maybe it is knowing how how invasive these things are and that often people feel worse just by virtue of being in hospital and becoming a patient or victim to the system of western healthcare we have as I see it.
I was 10 minutes late as I was drifting in and out of,sleep for just the couple of hours before I had to leave just before 7am. My mum got it in one when i spoke to her yesterday evening when she said you don’t know if you are going to make it bowels intact because of the rather powerful prep you have. But make it intact I did saying a little prayer to Jesus as I went in, changing into a gown and some rather groovy navy paper Bermuda shorts with a strategic hole in the back and some rather natty non slip socks which I have taken home with me. The nurse put a paediatric butterfly needle in my hand as I have small veins and often have my bloods taken with a paediatric needle… clearly that part of me never grew into an adult. The doc tried to convince me to have entonox and I said fine if they want a loony on their hands. Had gas and air in childbirth and it sent me a bit mental lol. Always a bit strange when they say who is accompanying you and you say no one cos after the procedure you can’t be on your own for 24 hours. Went into the room feeling rather terrified and then the rather powerful sedation was administered iv. Fentanyl, a powerful narcotic and midazolam, a tranquilliser. Legal narcotics. Ah, oblivion. I fell straight asleep. My sleep lasted exactly 2 mins and 20 seconds when I woke up screaming. Two thirds of the exam was complete and they had got to the splenic flexure when they had to abandon the procedure. All normal I am pleased to say in what they did examine but in recovery the doc asked mewhether I had asthma or emphysema because my 02 sats were so low. Explained I am still getting over a chest infection but I knew it was the fags. The docs really didn’t have any type of bedside manner. I always notice these things. Anyway to finish off, they sent me down to radiology for a wonderful ct enema. This passed without event, another tube and balloon up the arse and some very kind staff. They wanted to have a look at the area where I woke up screaming. We talked about where we would go on holiday if money no object. I said the Caribbean and the real orient express. And that was that. Transferred to the patient hotel where I had a rather revolting salad nicoise and promptly slept on and off till this morning. The supper was nice. I realised that even though we may go through life feeling unloved there are still people who love us. Texts from my sister, daughter and a friend plus pete very late into the evening. The boys don’t even know I went. I spoke to my mum who had to have this done every year for 20 years. Respect. Left just after breakfast, before kick out time choice of cereal or toast and vending coffee, talk about doing things on the cheap. Very quiet but with views of Big Ben and the Thames through the window.
Took the tube and train home as no buses down whitehall with barriers up. At the station I held thecdoor for an elderly Eastern European man. He looked at me said very leeringlyyou’re nice. Well he must have seen the horror on my face as I scuttled as fast as I could out the station. Walked through the lovely park in the drizzle home. Pete had gleaned out my bedroom, saying the dog no longer allowed in and that the accumulated dust must have affected my chest. Everyone has redeeming features. Appreciated this a lot. So there is a gate at my bedroom door and the dogsits by it eagerly waiting for me to let him in. Which I won’t do as I do t think the dog,hair is helping my chest. Pete think same. So resting up, glad that I am still here and in one piece.
