Just to do small recap.
I’m thinking about money lost, however I’m reading other horrible stories here, and I don’t want to end up like this. That is why I need to stay focus and not gamble anymore….
I still have decent money in my bank, checks and cash and I’m not going to touch it. I also got some good profession additionally my online shop. I’m thinking if I lose all of this then I’m noone. I’ve got a lot more to lose than I’ve lost so I will not making same mistakes again and again.
I need to stay strong.
I also play the video of me crying , it looks really bad. I’m usually happy person, strong and positive, also good looking. The video when I was gambling all night and lost £600 showing me crying and asking myself why do i do this whats going on with me, the video is very dramatic it actually shows how I can look and feel on everyday basis if I will not stop with gambling.
Another thing I’m doing. Instead of focusing on gambling I’m trying to put all energy into love to my GF.
I have to admit I’ve been on some level addicted to porn and I’m trying to kick this bad habbit along with gambling. Luckily alkohol / drugs isn’t a problem to me. Maybe cigarets, but I’m trying to limit smoking too, yesterday I’ve smoked only 3 cigarets. I’m trying to fight with all this evil stuff at once, that is why I’ve decided ask god for help. Before I didn’t even think about god thing.