Hi Time to Change,
I take a very straight line on recovery and I probably shouldn’t say anything until I have a year under my belt… But I find what you said as some poor excuses. You’re blaming your weakness to not follow through on a promise to yourself. The truth is that you’re weak. You aren’t strong enough to stay away from gambling. Using your barriers being down isn’t a viable excuse. If you read my posts you’re going to see that I discuss this often. Is a alcoholic supposed to never have money in his pocket again or never travel to any cities that serve alcohol. the answer is absolutely not. Just like an alcoholic gambling is everywhere. You can’t exclude yourself from every online gaming site and you can’t get away from places in the world where gambling is legal. I can’t even buy a donut without having to look at lottery tickets and keno.
What I’m trying to say is… the issue isn’t that you had cash or a card, or that you were in a part of town you weren’t excluded from, or that your hand was hurting. And lets be honest you could have gone for a run or walk with a bad hand. Worked legs, etc. So saying your hand hurts and thats a hat trick or whatever you called it is a joke.
You wanted to gamble so you did. It’s that simple.
If you want to stop them put those barriers up, but those barriers aren’t going to be there forever. You need to be strong enough to stop and not allow the thoughts back in your head.
I hope you can stop and I’m here for you if you ever want to chat.
Jon
