Hi Zdravko
Of course you didn’t start online gambling thinking it would hurt your family, your friend or yourself – it seemed harmless and that is the way it is for all those caught out by the addiction to gamble.
You are not worse than your father; you are not your father, you are ‘you’ and you can stop gambling and live a wonderful life if you are determined to be free of the control of your addiction. Nobody can tell you it will be easy but I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t know and hadn’t seen CGs (compulsive gamblers) turn their lives around and be amazing.
You have temporarily lost your family but that is because you lost ‘you’ first. Join our groups and keep posting; you are not alone and you will be supported as you retake control of your life. When you find yourself again I would imagine your mother will be only too happy to support you – maybe she could join the F&F forum on this site and hear that there is a great deal of hope. Your mother was almost certainly in a great deal of pain when she heard that you were struggling with gambling, she probably felt she was to blame. She needs time to recover from hearing the things she hoped she would never hear just as you need time to recover ‘you’. The best way you can put the smile back on your mother’s face is to do what you are doing – seek support and do things differently today.
Don’t waste time wondering why and ‘if only’ because no amount of wishing will change what has gone. Just for today Zdravko do things that please you and do not involve gambling. You will get support about blocking your gambling sites and you will be heard by many who care.
Well done writing this first post
Velvet
