Day 23- Still going! Tomorrow is Payday, which was always my weakness. It’ll be the 2nd payday since my “Day One.” But I feel strong.
The tools that I have put in place have really helped. I’ve been able to push through the urges by A. Not having access and B. Thinking about where I was on Day 1.
My tools have been:
1. Blocking Access- I’m in the US, so it’s much harder for me to play online as there are only a few options. I was never into sports betting or poker- takes too long! LOL!! I was always in for the INSTANT gratification. Big money fast. I could drive to a brick and mortar casino, but that takes too much effort- and- again, you have to go to the ATM, which is REAL money in hand. I’m more of a “sit in my pjs in front of the screen and spin, spin, spin” person. With “self-exclusion” from the online casinos, I have eliminated my ability to play. That has been the BIGGEST help. And it was SO empowering. It felt good to send those emails.
2. Budgeting- I have a running spreadsheet with all bills, spending $ and savings. And we have started saving for a NICE vacation. We’ve never gone on a nice vacation because I always spent all of our money. Prior to the budget and savings, on payday, I would PLAY to get money for the bills. It was always “20 more bucks and I could have $1000! Then pay of all the bills!!” The $1000 never came and there I was with nothing. Chasing the loss….. over and over and over.
3. Reading the forum- This has been VERY helpful. I’m no longer alone with my thoughts. I can come here and focus on the fact that I am not alone and that there are others out there just like me. I realize now that gambling for me was very lonely. I didn’t realize how lonely I really was.
4. Pride- I take pride in what I’ve accomplished in 23 days. I’m happier, sleeping better and MUCH less stressed.
THE PAIN, LYING, STRESS, GUILT, TEARS, FEAR LONELINESS ARE NOT WORTH IT!!!!!!!