So glad to hear you told your mam and that she “got it”, I-Did-It!
Sadly, it most likely means that she herself is a latent CG.
Asking her to go to a meeting with you is a long shot. As you well know, that needs to come from the CG her/himself. Perhaps your mam doesn’t have the necessary “desire to stop gambling”. It will certainly made your visits home less stressful. You are making marvelous progress. It’s not about the number of G free days ONLY. It’s what we do in our G free time that counts. The main thing that is evident in your recent posts is the change in mindset. That speaks volumes.
When I “came out” initially, I told several people. I realized afterwards that my indiscretion backfired. I should have zipped my mouth and only told the people who needed to know.
From experience, I can say most people don’t want to know our “issues”. In an effort to appear open and honest I repeated my “issue” ad nauseam and people actually avoided me as a consequence. This in turn sent me back to the casino to bury my embarrassment.
I will short list the people who “got it”. My brother was my main source of support. He said “If you ever need to talk , you know where I am”. One nephew said something similar…………yes, that’s about the length of my list.
My “nearest and dearest” paid all the bills, gave me money, kept his mouth shut (as far as I know)but didn’t give me any emotional support. Indeed when I self excluded from two casinos (my comfort zones) in 2008 he gave me a card containing €200!
I do understand completely what you mean about waiting to have your misdeeds “slapped up”. That has been the story of my life. Its a mixture of mistrust and disloyalty and , yes, I do agree that this will drive a person with a gambling “weakness” to a place where we “find solace”. This creates a huge void in a relationship.
My adult children paid lip service to my “recovery” but I really think, because my gambling didn’t affect them directly they didn’t want to be too involved. My youngest son used my gambling to deflect from his own issues and would throw abuse at me but only “from the mouth out”. his reaction affected me badly initially but his continued absence (his choice) has resolved things pro tem.
One of my sisters feigned sympathy but had no difficulty ridiculing me in company and when I glared at her she just passed it off as a joke. Another sister said “O dear, how dreadful for you” but despite being told I was (am) in serious debt, she still talks about her disappointment at my failure to attend her son’s wedding.
In short, you can’t win!!
To be honest I-Did -It, my attitude now is I really don’t give a cock’s tonsils who knows what. I have never met a 100% squeaky clean person in my life . Ever.
The only people who really “get it”are other CGs. I was astounded when I first attended GA at how open these men were /are at discussing even emotional issues. Some members I have grown to trust and some I won’t ever trust, so when I attend GA, I play my cards close to my chest , as I do here on GT.
Openness and honesty are the key but in my book prudence supersedes both!
