I am a compulsive gambler and thats why I cant bet for fun, If I start I can never stop, If I had a million pounds and I started gambling I would honestly lose every last penny the only question would be how long would it last, when I make that first bet that is where it all goes wrong because I cant stop so the only answer is dont make that first bet, I understand all that you say and I have done the same, one thing I know for sure is when I gamble £9000 doesnt last long and like you say you still have that in your savings, try and hold on to it and use it wisley………………when we continue to gamble things can only get worse and its fightening how quick they do.
I wish you well in your recovery and life, hope you have a good gamble free day, all the best.
Maverick