Hi Dan.
Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart, for writing so openly about what you are going through. It gives me hope that this addiction can be iced. The day you started posting here again looking for help is the day of my birthday and the day I started down my path of losing and losing. The unbelievable high has turned into torment since then, i fell into the “but i need to at least try and win some back…today is the day!” Pithole. I have just begun to realize my losses since last night. I also can not admit anything to those close to me. The shame would kill me. It’s hard to swallow. But I keep thinking how I have no more to lose if I don’t go gamble anymore and put the past behind me. I have made the vow to self ban tonight. I have no other choice, i live 2 bus stops from the casino…What’s more embarrassing really? Having to be escorted out and not being able to go back or walking out of there (again) with a long face and joining the pack of losers waiting silently for the bus home…gambling used to be fun. This isn’t that anymore. It’s agony and torment right now and *YOU* give me hope that it gets better day by day. I am proud of you, if i may say that.