First of all very well done for sharing as it takes courage to share and also be honest.
Worriedmama comes up with a great quote and too me so very true, In my honest opinion no compulsive gambler could embrace recovery totally on the back of a winning “last bet” it is impossible because that last “buzz” that last “win” (I know we never win) will always be the last thing in our mind, I have always said to my wife if I am actively gambling (i.e not in recovery) If I had 1 million pounds I would lose it all, I know to many people this will sound stupid but me being an addictive compulsive gambler means if I choose to gamble I honestly cannot stop no matter what, the only time I can is if I am not gambling and in recovery, I know and understand myself and how my mind works but even knowing that I still struggle (at the moment) to stay in recovery, although I am a very knowledgeable and clever person (not trying to sound like a bighead lol) I am very weak willed and seem to give in to many things far to quickly.
I spoke to a person today who hasn’t got much time left in this world and believe me they would give up everything they have just to have another few days on earth, this is where we can understand and let go off our financial losses because in truth they mean absolutely nothing (as I am sure we both well know).
Stay strong my friend and I hope you can work at getting your life back on track, well done for sharing how you feel and life can get better, this addiction will take everything if we let it…………but there is always hope.
Take care and wish you all the very best in the world, keep sharing.
Maverick