Dear diary
I am speaking for myself. This year is full of discovery, I learn a lot about me this year.
The period when I was growing in total abstinence happen during a time when I felt really powerless and admit defeat.
But when I felt that I was no more powerless after a period of sobriety, I start to struggle to stay total abstinence again. I became complacent, weaker and lazy in my recovery. Things gradually become harder.
When I had the money and felt in control of the situation. It was not a good sign for me. Bad things start to happen to me. When I felt in control, I am actually beginning to lose control until I loses my life.
Today I really feel very appreciative of the days when I felt powerless. I will surrender to alcohol and slot and admit defeat. Now I wish to extend it to everything.
It didn’t work for me when I took alcohol, use the slot, play baccarat, punt on soccer matches, over work and over eat.