Hey BlueSpark,
Well done on starting your diary on here. It’s good that you’re feeling more motivated and with purpose at work today and often a fresh smart that comes from recovering from gambling can actually help us kick start some good habits/mindsets in life. But be careful…it is very easy to bounce from one end of the spectrum to the other when you’re a compulsive gambler. The gambling gives us very quick and strong mood swings. You might go a week or two feeling great and like you’ve recovered, but with just one moment of weakness or lapse in judgement, you’ll be straight back into the gambling hole. I do urge you to self-exclude from where you gamble and close all your betting accounts.
Despite not being an insignificant amount, $3,000 is actually a very CHEAP lesson to escape gambling IF you stop gambling completely from now. It’s also not a life-changing amount and can be made back relatively quickly if you just focus on work and savings. But, this is a very dangerous sign of where you’re heading – remember, you’re still young and you can lose A LOT more throughout your life and go into a mountain of debt if you keep letting this addiction escalate. I have been on various gambling forums over the years and I have seen countless stories of people who started with relatively small/moderate losses, who sought help on forums, but nevertheless went on to lose their life-savings/go into major debt. On top of this, stealing, losing jobs and relationships typically go alongside these. So let me make it clear for you again: use that 3k as a lesson as to why you should NEVER EVER touch ANY form of gambling ever again. If you keep playing, there’s a high chance you’ll lose everything important to you in your life. Just think about it the next time before you gamble.
As for your OH – it is highly likely that she will be supportive of you. The amount isn’t too unreasonable (although most OHs will support their partner initially regardless of the amount lost – it is only when they keep lying and gambling on that relationships usually break down). Telling her will also be a huge mental burden off your mind – in fact, she probably already has some suspicions that something is wrong with you at the moment – usually the people close around us can tell because gambling makes us very withdrawn, isolated, moody and just not ourselves in general. You can also ask her to monitor your finances and give her control of your money as any money you have in your hands is money is extremely vulnerable to be gambled away.