Thank you for advice about this – it is helpful to see other people in the same boat and listen to their stories.
I can’t do it though. I can’t bring someone else who I love dearly into this pit of sh*t that I’ve created for myself. It just feels a bit selfish. I know I’ll have to if I can’t get next months rent together or something like that but I will still try to avoid it at all costs. It’s my mess and I need to deal with it.
I have been here before – lost around 4000 GBP but we were in a situation where neither of us were working and it was nearly the very last of the money we had. I had been 5000 up and told her and we were so happy that there was a way out. I lost it all over the course of a couple of hours and held out for about a month before I had to tell her. That was definitely the hardest time we’ve ever had as a couple. That was 6 years ago and I spent that time paying off every penny to the people I borrowed off. I promised that it would never happen again…
What I wonder is how to people manage to get over the fact that they have won money in the past. My thoughts are – I have turned 500 into 5000 loads of times before, with proper control and management. I once, fairly recently, turned 5k into 100K over a hard 14 hours on the online casino. It was brilliant – went out and bought a bottle of very nice whisky to celebrate. An hour later had nothing.
So I keep making excuses – If i hadn’t have got drunk I’d still have the money. If I just kept the control that led me to win, I’d still be winning. My thoughts dwell on the times i won rather than the times I lost. How do people cope with this?
Still waiting to hear about my loan. Starting to think that if I got the 30k loan, I would pay 20K off the credit card and put the other 10k on ‘one last go’. I know what people will say, I know it will be the wrong idea but what if…?