Diary day 4
I am lying on my bed looking at all the pictures of my wife and the kids I have on my wall. Looking at us all happy. I want to be able to make them smile like that again with me. I believe that I can in time.
Watching some of the golf last night I didn’t realise until now just how many gambling adverts come on in the breaks. I felt myself getting annoyed by them and using them as a tool to get over this. I won’t let them ruin my future. I have been through a lot in my life so far and been through a lot with my wife.
I really miss my wife and the kids and want to be there with them instead of being here.
It is another day that I can mark off as not having gambled. Lots of people talk about gambling here and I am being strong and either walking away or thinking to myself I can’t always walk away from it so I need to be strong. So anytime I see it on tv or someone mentions it, it makes me more determined never to do it again.
Anyone can be happy when things go easy or right what is important is how we move forward when things go wrong. Life will never be smooth but if I don’t give up it can be good again. I will not give up and I won’t give up. I may need help along the way from people I love and that are being supportive I don’t doubt that for 1minute. I will have ups ad downs but what is important is how I deal with them. I don’t look back at what was done I look forward to what is in my life. 3 beautiful kids who I will help when things are hard. Being supportive to them in things they do. Watching them grow and go on to lead there life’s. Hopefully see them get married and have kids too. A wonderful wife also that i want to mke happy and show that i meant it when i took those vows on that wonderful day. There is so much in the future that can change but I need to take a grip of my future and make it how I want it and take my family forward to lead a happy future again. It can be done.
It is going to take courage to fight this but I am I control again and will stay in control!
I won’t give up and I won’t give in. There is always an answer to everything. Such an amazing statement from a man that went through so much. I will take that statement and make it my own.
Please continue to support me you are helping me with this road to recovery so much.