Brilliant post, SpecialK! One that every CG could identify with, in the aftermath of a gambling fiasco. Taking time to reflect brings perspective to the Game!
Very few people come to GT or GA and report a “wonderful, satisfying, eventful” outcome to a relapse. (I’m glad you didn’t use the word ‘slip’. CGs seldom ‘slip’. More like a ‘nose dive’!) We only hear doom and gloom. Nothing good ever comes from gambling. Reality checks will confirm this fact. Strangely, though , the human psyche has the power to obliterate pain and “flag” the “good” memories. That’s why a CG needs to put time between our thoughts and our actions. That also proves the importance of listening to or reading others’ bitter experience. We need to reinforce, in our limited brain, how powerful the addiction to gamble is for a CG and how easy it is to forget that we are totally powerless from the moment we succumb to that craze. This is where alcohol comes in. It fudges our memory, impairs our judgement and allows us to “throw caution to the wind”. Would you consider attending AA? I notice some of the guys at GA attend the two Fellowships.
Cruel at it may seem, SK, I think this big loss could be your saving grace. Money can be replaced but how much more can your fiance take before she packs her bags?
“Prison, insanity or death” are , reportedly the final outcome for gamblers. I have seen all three outcomes!
A very wise CG sage called KenL says
“Every CG has another bet in him/her, but not everyone has another recovery in them”!
Words are cheap SK. I spoke/wrote and sang the tune for years. Throughout that time, yes, I was losing money hand over fist, but of far greater concern, I was “putting nails in my own coffin!”
You are young. Life is at your feet.
your 4 key points CAN be addressed and overcome.
1.Abstinence versus recovery. Every CG loves to gamble but do we love the consequences? We can’t have one without the other!
2. Wallowing over past losses can lead us to trying to “win” back. Been there! wore the T shirt! Futile exercise! Try the Serenity prayer. We will never win anything back but we can restore our losses. Money being the least important loss.
3. “Running ahead”. I live my life with my finger on the Fast Forward button. We need to stay in the now. Today is all we have. Take deep breaths!
4. Alcohol and gambling don’t mix! CGs can’t cut down on gambling. Maybe you need to do more than cut down on the liquor. (Just sayin’!)
Ever word I write to you I also say to me, SK.
Be aware of the scary consequences but try not to dwell on them.
Life, without gambling is delightful. (sometimes)
The Gambling Life is not worth living.(ever)
Why would you need to ruin everything you have?
Stay focussed!
Keep posting!
Over and out!
