I know you are going through a hard time and often after relapse it feels like there is no way out.. there is.
Things like this are temporary and change. It doesn’t stay like this forever, the more effort you put into recovery, the better it gets. do you have a gamblers anonymous meeting in your area. Can you ring people when you get urges to gamble, blockers, bans, someone to help with cash.
When you get the urge, try to delay it for half hour.. do something else to take your focus off, start doing something that takes concentration. Or even just start doing the washing or cleaning, put on a movie, meet with a friend, go window shopping, get on the phone, search out a meeting, wait a half hour, then get through just that portion of time.. then do it again.. eventually the urges fade. Its tough but they go away.
Maybe spend some more time here, posting and reading. Join the support groups, talk to someone online.
The addiction steals everything from us, gambling addiction always always gets worse, but recovery also always always gets better. You will see light at the end of the tunnel the more time you spend away from gambling
P