I wasnt going to share tonight but hey here I am, so I have been working like a dog and trying to earn extra money for christmas, been feeling tom tit as have the flu, works been manic and havent been seeing much of the family its just been a full session of work….eat….and sleep……but thats ok because I have a goal……..a wonderful christmas for my wife and kids…….I have let them down so many times before……caused them stress grief and suffering but no more everything is good everything is changing…….life is hard but it is managable.
Its going to be a wonderful christmas with family,love, presents, food and everything all the past christmas didnt have…….
No its not because today I gambled, just for today I lost the plot, dropped everything I had, leant money from people you just dont lend off…….dropped all that and have just placed myself in a big hole, I dont really know or understand what is wrong with me if I am to be honest as I know what I shouldnt do but in the end I always seem to do it no matter what!
Ok so I have 9 days to make Christmas a really good one………at this moment in time that seems impossible but you know what through all the s@it I have done and caused myself and others in this life I always seem to come back from the dead…….I dont know how or why but God knows this time I have dug a hole that deep an elevator wouldnt get me out!!
Just wanted to share my utter stuip disrespectful behaviour in the hope it just helps one of you not follow my evil…..hateful……selfish path.
Thanks for reading and listening as always…..wish you all well.
From one of the worst people in the world…….just for today that I am.
Lee